40-year-old mom insists 13- and 15-year-old stepsisters have joint birthday party and go to all events together, older daughter pushes back: 'If they don't invite both of them, then neither of them goes'

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Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Sep 26, 2025 5:00 PM EDT

Some people are close to their siblings, but they're rarely this close. 

A lot of people are super close with their brothers and sisters. They tell each other everything, hang out all the time, and laugh a lot. Even so, most of these people still want their own lives apart from their siblings. They don't want to hang out with them 24/7 – they need to have separate friend groups, play different sports, and have their own hobbies. Twins, especially, can struggle with finding their own identity apart from their twin sibling. Their families tend to group them together for everything… but they're still their own person at the end of the day. No 2 siblings should have to hang out 24/7 just because they're related. 

This Mom made a big sibling faux pas while trying to make her biological daughter and step-daughter get along. It seems like they tolerate each other just fine, but Mom is making them do literally everything together. She's kind of overcorrecting in order to make sure both girls feel loved… but it's totally backfiring. She's making the girls share their birthday parties, which is a HUGE deal to many teens. Think back to your 16th birthday party, and try to remember if you made a big fuss about it. Chances are, you had a special day with your friends and family, and I bet a lot of you had huge Sweet 16 parties to ring in that special age. Now imagine your parents force you to share your special b-day with a girl who's your stepsister, who you really don't even know that well. Oh, and also? You're not allowed to hang out with your friends unless step-sis gets to tag along, too. That'd be pretty awkward, as commenters told this Mom. Not to mention that it'd be really odd to always have to hang out with a friend and their sibling. It's a recipe for social isolation, as some commenters advised this Mom. 

Check out the full tale below, and see if you agree with the Mom, or with her 2 teen girls. Then, read the exciting tale of this employee who won an iPad at a claw machine… but struggled to actually retrieve it from the machine. 

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  • 01
    I (40f) was a single mother to my daughter, Amy (15f). I came out 3 years ago and married my wife Jenna (42f) last year. She has a daughter, Nora (13f). We all live together as I have full custody of my daughter. It was kind of hard for her to adjust to having a second mom, but they got along well.
    via u/Emotional-Duty5051
  • 02
    The girls have their birthdays very close, only two days apart, so we decided to have a joint birthday party for both of them, since Nora had a hard time making new friends (they moved in with us and she's very shy). Most of my family lives out of the country, so the gifts were sent a week early. It was a huge bag, with at least 20 gifts. The party was nice and we opened the bag at night once everyone left.
    via u/Emotional-Duty5051
  • 03
    Jenna handed out the presents as she took them out. After 12 gifts in a row just for Amy, I checked the bag and froze to see that there was only one gift for Nora, from my parents. She pretended it wasn't a big deal, but as she opened the present I saw her eyes drop. It was a $15 tumbler from Walmart. Not to sound ungrateful, but Amy's gifts were much more expensive (lots of gift cards over $100, a new phone, limited-edition Funkos,
    via u/Emotional-Duty5051
  • 04
    designer clothes and lots of cards wishing her a happy birthday). Needless to say, I blew up the family chat, calling out my parents, siblings, and extended family who sent gifts for not considering Nora and my parents for the cheap gift. No one took me seriously since: "It's not our duty to give gifts to someone else's kid" and "Amy deserved them, since I didn't even throw her her own birthday party",
    via u/Emotional-Duty5051
  • 05
    emphasizing that Jenna and Nora are my problem, not theirs. Nora was clearly hurt, since it's not the first time my family has left her out. At night, I asked Amy to share some of the gifts with her stepsister. Not all of them, just a couple of gift cards and some of the new clothes. Amy refused. This surprised me, since she never had a problem with sharing and even though she and Nora are not BFF's, they usually
    via u/Emotional-Duty5051
  • 06
    get along. After asking why, Amy started crying, saying that she never wanted a joint birthday party, and that I force her to share everything with Nora. They share a room for space and I make sure they're both invited to the same parties and sleepovers, so that Nora won't be left out. If they don't invite both of them, then either of them goes.
    via u/Emotional-Duty5051
  • 07
    Amy stated that she at least wanted her own gifts to be hers alone. I scolded her for being selfish with her stepsister, grounded her and took a couple of the presents to give to Nora. She turned them down because she didn't want problems with Amy and it felt like pity. Since then, Amy has been cold to all of us. I just wanted my two girls to be closer with the joint party and have the same things. AITA?
    via u/Emotional-Duty5051
  • 08
    Clarification: Jenna and I bought gifts for the girls (their own tablets), as well as their friends. Nora also received gifts from her extended family, but they sent for Amy as well.
    via u/Emotional-Duty5051
  • 09
    think I'm the AH because my daughter has been cold to me and I think I ruined her relationship with my wife and her stepsister
    via u/Emotional-Duty5051
  • 10

    Commenters did not share this Mom's enthusiasm for sibling relationship-building

    Jocelyn-1973 YTA, you are basically asking your daughter to share her complete identity with Nora. Her room, her stuff, her family, her friends, her birthday party, the parties she goes to, sleepovers.... is there anything really HERS? This can't be good for her development. She needs to be her own person.
    via u/Jocelyn-1973
  • 11
    SingleAlfredoFemale I make sure they're both invited to the same parties and sleepovers...If they don't invite both of them, them neither of them goes. Amy isn't allowed to have her own friends?!?! You seriously don't let her socialize unless her sister is
    via u/SingleAlfredoFemale
  • 12
    with her?!?!?! Not to mention, maybe Nora doesn't want Amy there when she hangs out with her friends. Sounds like Amy is dealing pretty well with - losing her dad(?), having her mother come out, having to share her mom with her new wife, having to share her space and things with a new sister....after 14 years of it being just the two of you.
    via u/SingleAlfredoFemale
  • 13
    Teen girl with red hair and red lipstick next to teen girl in overalls with messy hair and glasses, with colorful balloons in background
    via Matheus Ferrero on Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 14
    She has NOTHING TO HERSELF. And she can't even go out with her friends on her own. Do you see Amy's struggles at all??? Or are you so focused on the pretty picture in your mind and being Nora's hero that you don't see your all the changes your own daughter is going through?
    via u/SingleAlfredoFemale
  • 15
    You have compassion for Nora, and that's wonderful! But you are sacrificing your own daughter's happiness for Nora's. Just because Amy doesn't complain doesn't mean she isn't struggling and hurting. (Yes, your parents are jerks- that was a horrible thing to do. But maybe they did her a favor if it wakes you up to how awful you are being to your daughter. I'm
    via u/SingleAlfredoFemale
  • 16
    wondering if she's complained to them, or they just see how she's treated now). But you tried fix it the totally wrong way. You punished Amy for your family's awful behavior. Listen to what Amy is telling you. She's been polite long enough. You are not bringing them closer; you are driving them apart. YTA
    via u/SingleAlfredoFemale
  • 17
    CrystalQueen3000 YTA absolutely You're trying to force this one big happy family dynamic. You expect your family to jump on board pretty quickly and just accept and treat Nora like your own and they haven't. You don't solve that by stealing your daughters presents from her family and
    via u/CrystalQueen3000
  • 18
    sharing them with Nora, that's only going to build resentment between them. You've found who you are and accepted it and created a new life, good for you. But in the process you've robbed your daughter of her own space, her own celebrations, her own
    via u/CrystalQueen3000
  • 19
    friendships and her own gifts. Then you punish her for not being accepting of it. That's just crappy on multiple levels.
    via u/CrystalQueen3000
  • 20
    Cheezburger Image 10558267392
    via Ali Kokab on Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 21
    moongirl12 YTA. Everything you're doing to build closeness (sharing a party, sharing gifts, only letting them go to parties both are invited to) are only going to push them apart. Your lack of understanding that your daughter's life has been drastically changed too is a serious problem.
    via u/moongirl12
  • 22
    Punisher6111 YTA. You are making your problem, your child's. You are also trying to guilt your family. You should just have bought your step daughter a BIG gift on your own instead of trying to mess up your daughter's birthday.
    via u/Punisher6111
  • 23
    Sab... Wait they are 2 years apart and the one isn't allowed to go to sleepovers or parties unless the 13 year old gets to tag along? You do know that other people will just stop inviting the 15 year old because they don't want to be forced to hang out with a 13 year old right. Way to punish her for your getting married. And it goes without
    via u/Saberise
  • 24
    saying YTA for stealing the presents from her. Also good for Nora not wanting the gifts. Even she knew what you were doing wasn't right. Hopefully she starts standing up to you even more.
    via u/Saberise

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